Lynx

To whom it may concern,
Recently I purchased a can of your deodorant entitled 'Lynx: Dark temptation' hoping to attract members of the opposite sex. Unfortunately, I have not got the desired effect, instead of attracting women, I have attracted a dozen cats who are now outside my front door, scratching away. I would let them in, but I think they may have come from my neighbour Terry Jenkins' garden, and he's scruffy as fuck, I don't appreciate felines slobbering on me at the best of times, especially not his. I would like to see if you have a solution to my problems, maybe I bought the wrong flavour?

Alex Richards

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Dear Alex,

Thank you for your recent email. I was sorry to hear that you felt that Lynx Dark Temptation Body Spray was not as effective as you expected.

Whilst the Lynx Effect will draw girls to you, it cannot do all the work for you. Try brushing up on your chat up lines and eye contact, both are good ways to improve your chances with the opposite sex and also make sure you keep spraying. Be confident, witty and approachable and the girls should come a flocking.

Spray more, get more means precisely that. The more you spray the more Lynx Effect you are unleashing and the more confidence you will exude. This in turn will hopefully lead to more female attention.

I hope you find this information helpful. If you have any further enquiries, please do not hesitate to contact us again.

Kind regards,

Kevin Thomson
Careline Advisor
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What a shit reply; not even going to bother continuing this one.