Artist Wanted

***!ARTIST WANTED!*** artist wanted (preferably graphic designer) to create logo for new daycare opening in Chatham (Chicago, IL)
 pls contact ************@*********.com if interested 

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From: Alex Rickson

To: Amber

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Hello,

My name is Alex (although for artistic and pretentious purposes I prefer to be referred to as ‘A’, which must be written in Italics), and I am an experienced graphic designer, I have designed graphics for various companies such as ‘Arkansas Chainsaws’ and ‘Shear bliss co. ltd. est. 1987’. If you want I can whip something up quickly, just a basic design to start. Is there anything specific you want on the logo (e.g. Name of daycare, motto, colour scheme)?

Thanks

A

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Hi A

yeah sure thats great, the daycare is called ‘Nurture’, there is currently no motto as we dont feel its necessary but if you wish to include it in your logo we may consider it. the prefered color scheme would involve white, red and blue. I look forward to hearing from you

Rap Battle

Original advert:

My lyrics

Song called "Your the Reason"

Verse #1

I hit the club fresh/ Am I the best dressed

Sipping nothing but goose/ Shawty an nothing less

Looking for the best sex/ You here what im saying

Lets bring the terms to laymen/ To show them that we aint playin

Music loud as f@(k/ My words are still clear

Always think of sweet nothing/ To whisper off in they ear

Can I buy you a beer/ Just words to break the ice

Get any drink from the bar/ Get anything that you like

Remy ma and sprite/ Ohhh just like the rapper

Hood chick shawty thick/ Ohhh and i like her swagger

It sayes trojan on the wrapper/ Wrote her number on a napkin

I see where this is going/ I know whats about to happen....A!!

Hook:

She say she love what she hearing right/ You aint know

Ma you the reason why i spit the fie

Hell i sip a ride/ think of sh@t to get you right

have you waiting be the phone/ Til I get home....

If you like hit me up!!!

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From: Alex Rickson

To: George Williams

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Hey man, I saw the lyrics on craigslist and I'm liking what I'm seeing. You got a tune to go with these lyrics or is it just freestyle?

Thanks, holler back

Alex Rickson (Rap name: Alfunkalo Da Rhymefestz)

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I WRITE TO NO BEATS. ONLY THE BEAT IN MY HEAD. YOU ENJOY HA??

Applying for an acting job

This was a bitch to upload so if there's any errors in the post, apologies.

Original advert:

Looking for an actor age 25-35 to play a major role in an upcoming small independent movie directed by media graduates

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From: Alex Richards (Alex Rickson)

To: ‘Tatiana’

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Hello there,

I saw your ad on Craigslist that was looking for an actor aged 25-35 to play the leading role in a small short film. This is something that interests me. If you would like more information I can send some details and a summary of my previous acting experience.

Thanks

A. Rickson

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Thank for your interest!
Yes, we need more information, your pics and a summary.

Sincerely,
Tatiana

Nigerian money scam

(all comments are appreciated)

Original email:

Dear Sir,

Confidential Business Proposal

Having consulted with my colleagues and based on the information gathered from the Nigerian Chambers Of Commerce And Industry, I have the privilege to request your assistance to transfer the sum a 25% share of $40,000,000 into your accounts. The above sum resulted from an over-invoiced contract, executed, commissioned and paid for about five years ago by a foreign contractor. This action was however intentional and since then the fund has been in a suspense account at The Central Bank Of Nigeria Apex Bank.
We are now ready to transfer the fund overseas and that is where you come in. It is important to inform you that as civil servants, we are forbidden to operate a foreign account; that is why we require your assistance. The total sum will be shared as follows: 70% for us, 25% for you and 5% for local and international expenses incidental to the transfer.
The transfer is risk free on both sides. If you find this proposal acceptable, we shall require the following documents:
(a) your banker's name, telephone, account and fax numbers.
(b) your private telephone and fax numbers —for confidentiality and easy communication.
(c) your letter-headed paper stamped and signed.
Alternatively we will furnish you with the text of what to type into your letter-headed paper, along with a breakdown explaining, comprehensively what we require of you.

Please reply urgently.

Best regards
Sunday Makadimo
Lagos, Nigeria

Here is the picture that was sent with the email

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From: Alex Richards (under the pseudonym 'Alex Rickson')

To: Sunday Makadimo

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Hello Sunday,

That is a lovely name you have, it reminds me of the day, Sunday. You are also quite handsome, like a young, black Timmy Mallett.

I have done the maths, 25% of $40,000,000 being $10,000,000, then converted into pounds being approximately £6,175,507.94, which sounds lovely, I will let you keep the 94p because you have been so helpful.

If I am going to be receiving millions of pounds I would like to know a bit more about whom I am dealing with, especially if I am going to be sending you my account numbers.

Thanks,
A. Rickson

Amazon review

Decided to review a game on Amazon under a Russian name.

Here is the review

Here are some of my favourite comments (These were comments I received within 3 hours of posting. You can see all comments on the link below)

Here is the review on the actual site. Although it's probably been deleted by now as it's apparently been reported about 10 times.

Edit: Review deleted after 16 reports :(