Canadian Apartment

Original Advert:

Apartment wanted in Brampton area

$900/m max rent

Please contact if you have one avaliable

From: Alex Richards

To: Jane Redman

Hi, I saw that you were looking for an apartment, I think I’ll be able to help you out. I have a few apartments spare in my block in Brampton, Ontario, near shopper’s world. Reply if you’re interested.

Thanks

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Hi Alex,

Thank you for getting in touch the location sounds perfect. I was wondering how big the apartments were and how much rent you wanted

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Hi,

I am asking for $650 a month. The apartments are very spacious and can easily fit 5 or 6 people. The one thing I ask is do you or your family/friends have any phobias?

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Hi Alex,

650/m sounds great and the size sounds good if the apartments can fit 5 or 6 people because I’m only planning on moving in with 2 people and a dog. No none of us have any phobias why do u ask?

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Hi,

Don’t worry about the phobias thing, we just had a ghost problem a few weeks ago, we got a spiritual specialist in to convince the ghosts to leave the premises immediately or there will be ‘quences. If you want I can show you a picture of the room?

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Hi alex,

You seriously think you had ghosts in your block? Now I’m a bit freaked out anyway yes a picture will be good thanks

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Hi,

You said you had no phobias, I hope you did not lie to me, I don’t want us to start off on the wrong foot.

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Hi alex,

I supose it’s all ok could you please send a picture of the room?

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Here is the picture, as I said the room is can easily fit 5 or 6 people.

[Please click here to see the image]

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Alex how can that possibly fit 5 or 6 people???

It can surely only fit 2 people because theres only 2 beds?

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Yes, there are 2 beds, and the apartment block will supply 4 sleeping bags free of charge, and you can easily fit them all on the floor, so that makes 6.

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If you think me and my frends are going to use sleeping bags to sleep in every night you must be a bit stupid that room is tiny and I don’t want to sleep in the same room as my dog

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I didn’t say you had to use sleeping bags, you can sleep on the floor without them if you want. You would be very lucky to have the sleeping bags for free as most other Brampton apartment blocks near shopper’s world either charge for them or don’t offer them at all. We always aim to pull out all the stops to look after the people staying here.

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I don’t care about the sleeping bags I want a room with beds and I don’t want to sleep in the same room as my dog

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We do offer other rooms but they are $901/m which is just out of your max price range. The room I’m offering is only $650, if you can only afford shit, you can only buy shit. The apartment block offers a free dog cage with triple solid lock with an air tight cage visor worth $69.99. So you wont be sleeping with your dog because it will be nice and snug in the 2ft x 2ft cage. The other features in the room include a full colour 14inch TV/VHS combi, a table and nice carpet (sorry but the man in the picture doesn’t come with the room).

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You want me to keep my dog in a cage I don’t think you realise how stupid this is no one is going to want to stay in your apartments I think I can stretch $1 pastt my max price could you send a picture of the other rooms please?

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You said in your advert that $900 was your max price, so I’m afraid I can’t offer you the other rooms

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I said I could stretch to $901 for the room

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I’m afraid I can’t offer you the room, I read your advert and felt obligated to your maximum offer, so I will respect your $900 and if you are interested in the ultra deluxe mega suite for $650 I will be willing to keep the room for you

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This is stupid im not interested in the room I just don’t want a room that small

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Okay, okay, I’ll drop to $645 and we'll call it a deal?

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End of correspondence