From: Alex Richards
To: Curtains Sales Websites
Hello there,
I recently came across your site, but I am unable to browse the options.
So I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions about your products through email?
If this is okay, please reply.
Thanking you
A. Richards
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Alex,
What problems do you appear to be having with the site? If you let me know what your queries are, I would be happy to assist you to the best of my knowledge.
Kind regards,
Jenny
--------------------------------------I have a few queries about your blinds. I was wondering whether I could get them with a size of at least 5ft (height). I was also wondering if they came with their own guide dogs?
I look forward to a reply
Thanking you
A. Richards
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Alex,
The blinds we do currently go up to a drop of 170cm which is approximately 5ft 7ins. There aren’t a lot of blinds to choose from on the site at the moment as we are currently re-vamping that section, sorry.
They do not come with their own guide dogs however – we suggest you obtain one separately. We did nearly get a deal with hearing dogs for the deaf, but just as we were about to sign on the dotted line, a tapir ran off with the paperwork.
Kind regards,
Jenny
--------------------------------------5ft 7ins sounds perfect, I don't want them to be too tall. I will probably wait until your stock has increased, as I don't want my blinds to be lonely.
It is very unfortunate that the blinds do not come with guide dogs, is this because of lack of kennels or food? It seems that the whole tapir malarchy has rocked your company a little, I'm guessing it was a Brazilian tapir who ran off with the paperwork, as they do tend to be the most rebellious. My only advice is that you complete paperwork within an office environment, rather than in the jungle. Have you any idea about when the re-vamp of the blinds section will be complete?
Thanking you
A. Richards
Alex,
Stock isn’t an issue, it’s just a case of getting the website up to date – we are only a small (and very busy) company, so please bear with us. As to when the blinds section is complete – how long is a piece of string? No seriously, we want to catch that tapir.
I wouldn’t worry about the blinds being lonely – few of our blinds seem to like each other, but are keen to meet other like-minded soft furnishings.
I apologise that we do not offer the aforementioned guide dog service and hope this does not deter you from doing very serious and businessy-type business with us.
Kind regards,
Jenny
PS: Re: Guide dogs – My colleague says that this once some guy put the Shaka Khan tune on full blast and a flock of dogs came running, so maybe this may help in your endeavours.
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Could you maybe state the general interests of the blinds?
A. Richards
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Alex,
Oh, you know… stuff.
Which particular blinds are you interested in and I’ll ask around.
Jenny
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Thank goodness for that Jenny, I am also interested in stuff.My passions include cats, gardening, inventing and forensic anthropology.
Do any of your blinds play the piano? because my favourite musical artist has got to be Stevie Wonder,
and if I could have my own, I would be over the moon.
Thanking you
A. Richards
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Alex,
You're an idiot
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End of correspondence
You linked to this blog on the Nerdfighters Writers group page and I may have just died laughing.
ReplyDeleteI'll send you an obituary if this is indeed the case.
I feel like the last letter (the "You're an idiot" one) was not, in fact, sent by Jenny because she seems to have humored you pretty well. Although I got from the "very serious and businessy-type business with us" comment that she was getting tired... Perhaps her boss thought you an idiot because blinds obviously come with those guide mini-horses and not dogs. (http://www.guidehorse.com/)