Rap Battle

Original advert:

My lyrics

Song called "Your the Reason"

Verse #1

I hit the club fresh/ Am I the best dressed

Sipping nothing but goose/ Shawty an nothing less

Looking for the best sex/ You here what im saying

Lets bring the terms to laymen/ To show them that we aint playin

Music loud as f@(k/ My words are still clear

Always think of sweet nothing/ To whisper off in they ear

Can I buy you a beer/ Just words to break the ice

Get any drink from the bar/ Get anything that you like

Remy ma and sprite/ Ohhh just like the rapper

Hood chick shawty thick/ Ohhh and i like her swagger

It sayes trojan on the wrapper/ Wrote her number on a napkin

I see where this is going/ I know whats about to happen....A!!

Hook:

She say she love what she hearing right/ You aint know

Ma you the reason why i spit the fie

Hell i sip a ride/ think of sh@t to get you right

have you waiting be the phone/ Til I get home....

If you like hit me up!!!

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From: Alex Rickson

To: George Williams

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Hey man, I saw the lyrics on craigslist and I'm liking what I'm seeing. You got a tune to go with these lyrics or is it just freestyle?

Thanks, holler back

Alex Rickson (Rap name: Alfunkalo Da Rhymefestz)

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I WRITE TO NO BEATS. ONLY THE BEAT IN MY HEAD. YOU ENJOY HA??

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Nice, man. Yeah your lyrics are shit hot.

You mind if I throw a few more ideas at you? To maybe add to your flow?

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GO AHEAD. IM OPEN TO CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISIM BRAH

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Okay then.

When you say 'I hit the club fresh/ Am I the best dressed', how about 'I'm off to the club smelling great, still had that Ben Sherman aftershave from last Christmas didn't I'?

When you say 'Looking for the best sex/ You here what im saying', I think it should be altered to say 'Looking for scantily clad ladies to put my penis in', loads of words rhyme with 'in' so there's no break in flow there.

I have no problem with the lines about the music being loud as fuck.

'Hood chick shawty thick/ Ohhh and i like her swagger' should definitely be changed to 'Lots of ladies, they are decent dancers'

Not particularly digging the 'It sayes trojan on the wrapper/ Wrote her number on a napkin. I see where this is going/ I know whats about to happen....A!!' part, I think an amendment is necessary; 'she says "hey, aren't you a rapper", I say yes, can I please have your number so I can call you tomorrow?, I see where this is going, I know what's about to happen, early night for me I think, no good staying out this late, and it's a Tuesday...A!!!'

Let me know what you think man. Tried not to change too much as what you've written is shit hot already.

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BE HONEST WITH YOU I AINT DIGGIN IT BUT I WRITE MUSIC THAT CATER TO WHAT I HERE. LIKE IM A SONG WRITER. THE MUSIC IS NOT FOR ME IS FOR OTHER ARTIST THAT LOOK FOR A BREAK. IM ONE WHO STAND BEHIND MY MUSIC BECAUSE I FEEL I HAVE AN EAR FOR WHATS HOT. AN NOW A DAYS PEOPLE LOOK FOR SIMPLE LYRICS. BUT NOT LIKING YOUR IDEAS MAN . ON OPEN MINDED BUT I STAND FIRM BEHIND MY IDEAS. IM FROM THE SOUTH AND SIMPLE IS BETTER.

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Glad you like my ideas man, and I know what you mean when you say simple is better, and simple is definitely how I'd describe you.

I've written some of my own lyrics, and wanna hear the thoughts from a fellow musician, tell me what you think man. They're written from the heart, from personal experiences, so it's kind of emotional for me and it's the first time I've shared them with anyone as they mean so much. The one thing they're lacking though is derogatory terms aimed at African Americans so if you could help me with those that would be great. Here are my lyrics.

6pm on a Friday

Yo, we off outside

Off to cause some havoc

By the Devil's rules I abide

Check it

That's right, off to Castle Bingo

Beats so slick they be slicker than Ringo

Across the 'badass' border just like a Gringo

Tearing up this joint aint no old bints gonna stop me

I'll smack 'em with umbrella if they ever come across me

Kelly's eye, Legs eleven, two little ducks

See my face right here I ain' giving no mo' FUCKS

I be hearin' the announcer - "£80 for lines"

I thought "Fucking hell" and I shit my Calvin Kleins.

I needed one more number, it was number 42

Some old lady shouts "House" and I'm like FUCK YOU

She had wrinkly skin as if her face was a scrotum

She gives me a look that just screams "Yo' welcome"

With her smug little eyes and her blue rinsed hair

In the end I walked up and smacked her with a chair

Ain' no bitch gettin' one up on DA RHYMEFESTZ

I be thinkin' oh shit it's 9pm, better go back

'Have I got news for you is on', after that I'll hit the sack

Early night for me I think, all madness is in my head

I'll think of more lyrics when I'm lying in my bed.

Oh yeah and that woman I hit with a chair died so now I'm in prison.

Copyright Alfunkalo Da Rhymefestz - 2011

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YO MAN YOU TAKING THE PI$$ COS MY LYRICS BEAT YOURS MAN F$CK YOU MAN

CHECK IT GEORGE WILLIAMS ALL UP DIS AVENUE/NOW HE F$CKIN PI$$ED AND HELL BE BEATIN YOU

NEVER LOST A RAP BATTLE/NEVER LOST A FRIEND

F$CK YOU ALEX RICKSON YOURE TIMES COME TO AN END

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I think you are misunderstanding the situation ‘George’; I am white.

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F$CK IT YO WHITE YOU NOW IN A RAP BATTLE

OR ARE YOU GONNA GO TO YOUR PARNTS TO TATTLE???

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You remind me of a young David Sneddon.

Yo George you ain’ as big an’ clever as yo’ think

It’s almost as if your brain cells are severely out of sync

Yeah I’ll take your lyrics, but not to please my mind

I’ll use them on the shitter when I really need to grind

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FUCK DIS MY LYRICS ARE BETTER THAN YOURS

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Why are you always shouting; attitude problems

Your lyrics aren't so 'big'; magnitude problems

You didn't thank me for the compliments; gratitude problems

You too far up the Earth there; latitude problems

You’re probably overweight; fatitude problems

You have sex with felines; catitude problems

You can’t play baseball; batitude problems

The fact that you didn’t reply with a rap…; interlude problems

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FUCK DIS AND FUCK YOU

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Oh dear George, that should be ‘Fuck this’

It seems you were left in the educational abyss

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End of correspondence