Applying for an acting job

This was a bitch to upload so if there's any errors in the post, apologies.

Original advert:

Looking for an actor age 25-35 to play a major role in an upcoming small independent movie directed by media graduates

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From: Alex Richards (Alex Rickson)

To: ‘Tatiana’

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Hello there,

I saw your ad on Craigslist that was looking for an actor aged 25-35 to play the leading role in a small short film. This is something that interests me. If you would like more information I can send some details and a summary of my previous acting experience.

Thanks

A. Rickson

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Thank for your interest!
Yes, we need more information, your pics and a summary.

Sincerely,
Tatiana

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Thank you for your quick reply, I currently do not have a promotional picture available but I can get one within the next week or so. Listed below is some information and a summary, most of my acting work has been done in the UK but I now reside in Los Angeles, California

Name: Alexander Manilow Meatloaf Rickson

Born: 7th May, 1978, London, United Kingdom

Resides: Los Angeles, California

Previous Work: (Show/Film - Episodes - Role - Year)

The Bill - 4 episodes - Court spectator #2 - 1997

SM:TV Live - 2 episodes - 'Pokémaster' - 1998

Heartburn Hotel - 6 episodes - Roy 'The Gimp' Stevens - 1998

Un Pamplemousse! - 3 episodes - Yuri Glanchkov (Voice Only) - 1999

SM:TV Live - 3 episodes - Beautiful Corr #4/Jim Corr - 2000

Barney's Broken Zoo - 6 episodes - Lawrence The Leper Leopard (Voice Only) - 2000

Sabrina The Teenage Witch - 1 episode - Mr. Kraft's Talking Desk - 2002

Grange Hill - 1 episode - Clive The Knife Maker - 2002

Busted's UK Tour - 1 episode - Charlie Simpson's eyebrows (Voice Only) - 2003

Jungle Run - 35 episodes - Elvis - 2003-2005

Little Britain - 4 episodes (14 sketches) - Various - 2004, 2005

David Francis' Lyre - Film - David Francis - 2008

Trapped In A Very Big Box - Film - Harold De La Cruz - 2008

Four Lions - Film - London Marathon runner - 2010

This is a list of the TV shows/films I have been in, as you can see it is mostly UK shows/films but I have also been in Sabrina The Teenage Witch and Trapped In A Very Big Box so I have previous experience of filming in the US. Please reply with any queries you may have or any further information you might require.

Thanks,

Alex

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Thanks for your information, I see you are very experienced, this is always good. Will be waiting for your pics.
Hope to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
Tatiana

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Hi, managed to get in contact with someone and finally got a picture, it's from three years ago during the filming of 'David Francis' Lyre' but I don't look any different now. If you need any more information please don't hesitate to ask.

Thanks,

Alex

Here is the picture I sent (Yes, this man has no legs)

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Thanks for your picture, has it been photoshopped or edited?

Sincerely,
Tatiana

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Hi, it has not been edited, it is a screenshot from ‘David Francis’ Lyre’, just before stumble upon the lyre and have the sex scene with Venezuelan glamour model Suzianna Esposito. I wont say any more in case you want to watch it yourself.

Thanks,

Alex

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Im afraid you would not be suitable for the role we are currently casting.

Thanks for applying.

Sincerely,
Tatiana

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Woah, woah, woah, woah

Woah now Monica Lewinsky.

Is there an explanation for this rejection?

Thanks,

Alex

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I envisioned the character differently to how you look in your picture.

Sincerely,
Tatiana

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Oh, I see. I know why I’ve been rejected, it’s because I wear glasses isn’t it? You should have stated that you wanted someone with perfect eyesight, or maybe you did BUT I JUST DIDN’T SEE IT!

Thanks,

Alex

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It is not because you wear glasses we just don’t think you will suit the part

Sincerely,
Tatiana

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I’m sorry, could you re-write that please? Preferably with a bigger font so I can see it.

Thanks,

Afjeifdeefluhv Oh look I spelled my name wrong because I can't see the keyboard.

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Alex, I think you know the problem.

Sincerely,
Tatiana

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Is it simply that my skin is not ‘alabaster’ enough?

Thanks,

Alex

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End of correspondence